Helping Families Change Schools

Author: Bridget Tegg
Bridget is a Registered Psychologist and Board Approved Supervisor with over six years of experience working with children, adolescents, and families.

When you first enrolled your child in a carefully chosen school, you likely imagined they would thrive there all the way through to graduation. But what happens when that vision starts to unravel - when your child begins to struggle, dread school mornings, or come home in tears?

For many families, these challenges stem from anxiety, bullying, unmet learning needs, medical conditions, sensory sensitivities, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the pace and social dynamics of school life.

After months or even years of trying to make things work, parents, students, or sometimes the whole family reach a breaking point and a change of environment becomes the healthiest option. Yet fear of the unknown can keep families stuck. The thought of disrupting friendships or making the situation worse can lead to the familiar phrase, “Let’s just give it another term and see how it goes.”

While well-intentioned, waiting too long can allow problems to deepen - sometimes leading to disengagement, falling behind academically, school refusal, or a decline in mental health.

In this article, we’ll explore how to recognise when it’s time to consider changing schools, how to create a clear timeline for making that decision, and how to support your child through the social and emotional transition that follows.

Identifying When a School Isn't the Right Fit

School can be a safe and enjoyable environment for many children. Factors such as teacher support, peer support and opportunities for autonomy impact a child’s engagement and experience at school. When students recognise the positive aspects of the school environment, such as empathetic teacher-student interactions, fair rules, and respect for autonomy, they are more likely to see it as a reliable and supportive resource. 

However, when children perceive these areas as unsupportive, it can negatively impact their school engagement, lead to social withdrawal, and result in unhelpful cognitive interpretations, as well as lower emotional resilience (Chen et al., 2025). Engagement with school has also been correlated with subsequent educational attainment, which may be negatively affected if your child’s current school is an ill-fitting fit and perceived as unsupportive (Baines et al., 2025).

The impact of a school that isn't the right fit for your child can be seen in daily interactions. It is common for children who are struggling at school to express increased reluctance to go to school, experience heightened emotions (e.g. anxiety) when talking or preparing to go to school, demonstrate reluctance to get out of the car or separate from their parent at drop-off, and make frequent comments relating to poor teacher or peer relationships, along with somatic complaints despite no underlying illness (Headspace, n.d). 

Depending on the parent-teacher relationship, the teacher may also provide feedback about changes in your child’s classroom engagement. It is essential to note that when your child is struggling to cope within the school environment, you may not only observe an increase in challenging behaviours, but also a reduction in engagement with previously enjoyed activities.

If you notice that school no longer feels like an enjoyable or safe space for your child, it could be a sign that their current school may not be the right fit. This doesn’t mean your child will always struggle with school as many children thrive when placed in the right environment. However, delaying action may lead to increased challenges over time.

Transition Strategies

Parental support is critical to your child’s success in school engagement. Even though school challenges may cause significant stress for your child and family, there are strategies you can implement to support them if they are not attending school or finding it hard to manage a new schooling transition. The following are examples of parent-led transition strategies that can be implemented within the home and school environments.

Emotional support:

• Ensure you are emotionally regulated when engaging with your child, as they will be observing and modelling your reactions.
• Encourage a growth mindset by recognising your child’s strengths, acknowledging what they are doing well and what they are enjoying or looking forward to at school. 
• Use social stories to support your child’s transition to new environments. This will help you understand their perspective and story about recent decisions, changes and concerns. You can help them to create a more balanced version of the story to support their resilience and understanding of the current challenge. 

Communication:

• Have clear, transparent and open communication with your child about the decision being made and why.
• Provide reassurance to show you understand their emotions and current experience, e.g. “I know school is challenging, but we can get through this together”, “I know this new environment is scary, but we will have help from teachers and other kids”.
• If there are concerns relating to changes in social dynamics, brainstorm ways your child can maintain social connections and build new connections in their new school environment. 
• Talk with your child about how they want to inform their friends about changing schools and consider practising how they might answer follow-up questions friends may have, so they feel more prepared. For example, "I'm leaving because another school has more schedule flexibility”, "I'm leaving because I just can't focus in class - at this other school, there's only a few kids in the class" or "I'm leaving because I hate exams and this other school teaches subjects without exams".

Behavioural:

• Allow your child to have a sense of control by providing your child with controlled choices in everyday tasks, e.g. “do you want to get changed or have breakfast first?”. 
• Create a morning routine with your child and allow them some choice and control when creating the routine. This will increase their engagement in the routine. 
• If your child is not attending school, then try to maintain a school-like routine at home and during school hours, and restrict their access to prohibited school items (e.g. television, phones). 
• Use rewards as a way to motivate and celebrate any successes your child achieves - no matter how small.

Role of Flexible Online Education

A strong teacher-student relationship is key to fostering school engagement, as it helps children feel safe, valued, and supported. Research shows that this positive dynamic can occur whether students are learning in person or online, as long as effective communication and attention to student needs are maintained (Huiqi et al., 2025). When considering alternative schooling options, online learning can offer several benefits, particularly for children facing mental and physical health challenges.

Online learning can create an environment where students can balance emotional and academic wellbeing, providing privacy and safety that may not be available in a traditional school setting. For instance, students can attend appointments or complete lessons at their own pace, avoiding the potential stigma of being pulled from class or visiting a counsellor’s office in front of peers. This sense of control and autonomy can significantly boost motivation and engagement in learning. Additionally, online schooling has been shown to reduce bullying, thereby improving mental health and enhancing students’ ability to focus and learn. 

For children with mental or physical health concerns, it can be common that families request special accommodations (e.g. small group or individual settings) to complete assessments to ensure a child’s full potential is being demonstrated without unnecessary distractions. When engaged with online learning, the required accommodations can be provided as the flexibility of online learning minimises the stressors of the classroom environment, such as peer pressure and sensory overload (American Psychological Association, 2021).

There are several options for online schooling, such as Crimson Global Academy. Engaging with alternative schools can be a short or long-term option depending on your child’s needs. Considering alternative schooling options can take the pressure off trying to manage the multitude of challenges that arise when schools are not the right fit for your child or family will allow you and your child space to focus on what really matters to them. 

Case Example

School suitability can be a common concern for families navigating mental and physical health diagnoses. The following example illustrates one family's experience in exploring alternative schooling options.

A 12-year-old female child with significant anxiety had been experiencing severe school avoidance, resulting in a substantial number of missed school days. Despite efforts to engage with their school and external therapeutic support, the child's emotional and school challenges continued to escalate. 

Due to school absence, there was also social withdrawal and difficulties engaging with their peers. Following a collaborative discussion with the family and the child’s support team, the child transitioned to an online learning environment. This shift led to increased engagement with both academic tasks, social interactions and coping strategies. Finding the right school environment for this client enabled the family to maintain therapeutic support and focus on other challenges the child was facing, helping them engage more fully in daily life experiences.

When To Seek Additional Support

If you've noticed significant changes in your child's behaviour or emotions (such as increased challenges or withdrawal from enjoyable activities), you are struggling to motivate them to engage with school, or you are hearing more complaints from your child about feeling unwell without any physical cause, it is recommended that you consult your GP. Your GP can refer you to a paediatrician, psychiatrist, or psychologist for further support relating to managing behavioural and emotional challenges as well as specific guidance relating to navigating schooling options.  

Additionally, if your school offers wellbeing services, engage with the school counsellor and wellbeing team to provide additional support to your child within the school environment. This may also allow you the opportunity to discuss alternative schooling options.

Conclusion

Understanding school appropriateness no longer has to be a daunting journey, as awareness of academic options is key to helping your child thrive. Student engagement is a strong predictor of academic success, with engaged students typically achieving higher grades, test scores, and graduation rates. Additionally, engagement reduces the likelihood of risky behaviours such as delinquency, substance use, and depression (Fredricks, 2023).

While avoiding distressing situations may provide children with temporary relief, it limits their ability to seek support, which can worsen feelings of helplessness, anxiety, and loneliness (Chen et al., 2025). Each child has unique needs and abilities.

Exploring options outside traditional mainstream schools, such as Crimson Global Academy, can help your child overcome educational challenges and increase their chances of realising their full potential.

References

American Psychological Association. (2021, September). The benefits and Challenges of remote learning: How online education can help—and hinder—students' mental health. Monitor on Psychology, 52(6). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/09/cover-remote-learning

Baines, E., Somerville, M., Böheim, R., Pervez, A., Zhao, Y., Symonds, J., ... & 

Blatchford, P. (2025). The Impact of Academically and Socially Focused Peer Relations on Children's Engagement and Academic Progress in Primary School. Frontline Learning Research, 13(2), 27-50.

Chen, W., Huang, Z., Peng, B., & Hu, H. (2025). Unpacking the relationship between adolescents’ perceived school climate and negative emotions: The chain mediating roles of school belonging and social avoidance and distress. BMC Psychology, 13, 1-20. doi:https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-025-02364-1

Fredricks, J. A. (2023, September). Getting students engaged in learning: 

Targeted interventions and savvy classroom practices, coupled with supportive state policy, can draw disengaged students back in [Policy brief]. National Association of State Boards of Education.

Headspace. (n.d.). School can't. Headspace. Retrieved September 17, 2025, 

from https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/supporting-a-young-person/school-cant/

Huiqi, H., Wang, Y., & Jacquet, W. (2025). Cross-regional students’ engagement and teacher relationships across online and in-school learning. Education Sciences, 15(8), 993. doi:https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci15080993